Blazing New Trails to Never Fail.

I`m a Bad (Bad) Mawfuckin DJ.

2007-10-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

This is two posts in one.

I`ve found that I`m listening to pretty much nothing but In Tune and On Time.

Liam. I need you to find me a copy of this, whether it be burned or not. I have holes in what I can find, and that needs to change. I`m missing the integral "Mashin on the Motorway" among others.

Well, I`ve quit my job as a door to door man. I won`t disclose as to why, but I will say that in my lifetime, I will never do a job quite like that again, which is why I`m happy for the experience. I did quit by the way, and I didn`t get fired. I just don`t really want to talk about why.

I`ve decided that despite the fact that I`ve been trolling YouTube for a good cross section of videos to post, that I won`t.

London is a strange city. If one were to read my personal logs, one would find that I have a lot of problems with the university aspect of this city. Jordan, Carl and Darryl were down last weekend, and while the story is sordid and a little choppy in my head due to excessive alcohol consumption, I will say that I have little to no respect for Western studentia in their full glory.

I`ve been making it a personal mission to use the library resources (which are vast) on campus, and even just sitting in their cliquey little cafes and daytime bars, I`ve found that either:
a) all of the quality, decently intelligent people that maintain the high academic standing of a school like this go into hiding or,
b) they are all engineers, whose ability to drink AND do well amazes even me. Perhaps there is a fraternity secret amongst these young men and women that is not available to the general public. Nyugen, care to share?

Honestly, I`m at a loss. Most Western girls dress like little $300/outfit clones and apparently drink only starbucks coffee and semen.

I hang out at a starbucks, and watch some of these girls try to function. I have a serious question for you guys...is Starbucks actually considered like some kind of Mecca for pseudo intellectuals? Why do people come there to discuss the application of Brechtian Theory as applied to Orhan Pamuk, or the benefits of a Communications Degree?

Seriously, call me bitter, but these people dressed up in their cute little outfits, trying desperately to fit the bill as an "indie intellectual" discuss these useless topics amongst themselves like a bunch of ass sniffing dogs.

Just sad, that`s all.

What the really dissapointing part is, is that this sort of functions as a eulogy for the dream that I had that perhaps university would offer me a solace from the ignorance of high school, and that Laurier had been a mere wrong choice for that kind of solace.

No. All universities are the same, and academic purity is a thought that while once may have been honorable, exists only in the bowels of the deep ravine of time with all the other dreams like level-headed women, something for nothing, and rock and roll.

But shit, who the hell am I? I`m just bitter, right?

PEACE.

THE BiZZLE`s Opium-erant.

Post #2 (written a week prior)

Hey,

Well, it would seem our little Blogger O`Sphere is falling apart quite briskly.

Liam`s concern has been expressed, and though I would love to see the 'sphere stay alive, I truly think it`s going to be a distant memory in but a few months.

Liam raised a good point in his post about how we write little more than travelogues and video playlists of musical interests. His hypothesis that we do little more interesting in our lives than get drunk and pass out is a sad showing of the end result of the last few years. Were we really once closer? God..what happened there?

I think we need a good showing of support for each other. Ellen, I implore you to keep writing your blog, and Jordan, Liam, Nora (if you`re out there), Ben, M-TOD, and all those other periodical bloggers, I ask that we give this one more shot, because if we don`t..it`s over, and our lives aren`t really going to intersect later on down the road as we believed they would in Carl`s basement a half decade ago.

Give it a go.

Blake.

This is the song that doesn`t end...it just goes on and on my friends....

2007-10-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

So first, I pose to you this question. If you possessed turntables, would you challenge this man? That is DJ Q-Bert. He is one of the legendary Invisibl Skratch Piklz and he is amazing. You might also recognize this famous Pikl.

If you can`t tell, I`m absolutely enamoured of this whole DJ thing.

So, here goes a long winded story that will eventually lead back to this topic. Eventually.

Work took me to Toronto this weekend. It was a leader`s conference, which is basically just a bunch of high level management talking to us about how we need to improve our pitches and lives and images and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

The conference itself was a useless sack of horseshit. I didn`t have a lot of fun, but I did learn a lot.

Anyways, that`s not the point. The point is..we took Toronto turf and went out on a Team Day. Once a week my business goes around on Team Day. What that means is that you`re placed into competitive teams to see who can drop the most deals in the day while working with someone you rarely or have never worked with. Well, because offices from Whitby, Ottawa and Toronto as well as us were there, we had a larger, province-wide Team day. Now, on Team day, bonuses are usually put up. On an office level, these usually range no higher than a hundred dollars and rarely that. Because there were many high level managers there, they put up a larger bonus to the "high rolling" (most deals dropped) team. Teams are two people, and Eric from Ottawa and I took that money home.

"But Blake, how much is that? 50? 100?"

No. I took home 200 dollars in cash, plus my wage, plus my weekly bonus for deals dropped. I am god. What makes this so great is that I was up against people who have years of experience. I beat them.

So, today, we went to the Delta Chelsea on Yonge street in downtown Toronto, and I went to this boring conference. Afterwards, I realized how close I was to Ellen`s, and I called her.

I told her to meet me in the hotel bar, where I would be sipping on 7 dollar rum and cokes and waiting for her. She arrived fashionably late, and we began to chat about life and things in general.

We toured from there when I realized that I didn`t want to pay that much for shabby rums (on a sidenote, they made the best liquid cocaine I`ve ever had. It was a perfect burn, and I want to know how they did it.) and we got coffee. We continued to chit chat, and all was well, and my boss sent me a text message explaining that he needed to know where I was, and that I was to come back to the hotel.

I left with Ellen, and headed back. I found my coworkers drinking 23 dollar pitchers, and commiserating as to how much better I was than them. They informed me that they too were tired of high cost of mediocre drinking, and wanted to find another bar.

My coworker Cain noticed Ellen was there, and being a bit of a creeper and a horndog, immediately began hitting on her. Hilarity ensued.

I watched Ellen get hit on for a while, and kindly informed her to stay away from him, as he was a strange man.

We moved onward to a bar behind the Delta, and I sat beside Ellen, with Cain in quick pursuit. He hit on her more, and Ellen switched from making fun of me to defending me.

I ate two plates of the best Garlic Bread with Cheese ever and enjoyed a drink.

SO...here we see the full circle.

Ellen demonstrated that she needed help as far as her musical taste was concerned. I offered a few choice cuts for her to download and enjoy. She asked me what I was giving her, and I told her "DJ music". She commented that that was synonymous with Techno and she didn`t like Techno.

I shook my head..and moved onward.

Techno is not real DJ music. What is a DJ that can`t cut and scratch? I mean, I want talent here, not just some asshole with a beat from one hit, and the lyrics of another, and to make a mix. That`s garbage. Make music with awesome samples and scratch in awesome patterns. It`s a subtle art, and I love it.

Techno is also more danceable than Scratching. Scratching is like guitar solo songs. It`s only cool if you like the shit. But please don`t call Scratching Techno.

So, with that being said..I`ll give you more.

No one special. He has a cool mix and creates his own beats later by scratching. I hear that`s really hard to do. Scratching. Turntablism.

The Musical Equivalent of Journalismo. Techno.

Good Luck, God Speed.

THE BIZZLE and his OPERANT.

Oh, an additional note.

2007-10-10T22:39:00.002-07:00

In the Kid Koala video, you can see how he turns the regular sounding trumpet into what sounds like a muted trumpet by (and this is only a postulate) turning up the treble and canning the bass on that track. I think that would give it a kind of "treble overload" sound that would vaguely resemble a muted trumpet. If I`m right, Kid Koala`s a fucking genius...if I`m wrong, he`s a clever clever man, and a fucking genius.

Just thought I`d add that.

Avalanches Above, Business Continues Below.

2007-10-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0&mode=related&search

I do feel it`s important for the entirety of humanity to watch this video. Unfortunately, being radio friendly, they were forced (so unfortunately) to cut the parrot solo short.

To anyone who has seen that, I offer a more hypnotic and (in my humble opinion) better developed styling within the same vein:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YiSFxDJQU48

With this one, you`ll find two problems:

Problem 1) The illiterate retard who posted it cannot properly spell "Trumpet", and
Problem 2) It does not begin at the beginning of the song. Apparently this listener`s knowledge of camera use or punctual footage planning is on par with his gnarly spelling abilities. When he cuts out of Kid Koala, it cuts immediately into some other DJ I`ve never heard of, as if it were some parent filming only their children in different parts of an elementary school talent show. Fucking Idiots. I`m going to jump to conclusions and assume this guy went to the wrong show, and that people exactly like him are the reason that Lil Wayne and Birdman went Platinum. Oh..never heard of that travesty? Check it out..the album`s called "Like Father like Son"..it`s a real...you know...piece of shit.

While I`m at it, I`ll also drop some more mad video knowledge on your asses.

Now, Liam, I know that you have more than likely seen and studied this video with a fervent passion, but to all those who wonder what I do with my time here in London:

Here you go.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6JtfPJIpMP0

I live humbly only to serve those that can scratch like mad demons.

Honestly, the second I can afford it...I`m buying turntables and becoming king.

God Bless!

TbHiEzz

I GOT BLISTAS ON ME FINGAS.

2007-09-21T06:43:00.001-07:00

My feet hurt a lot. I mean, it`s not a pain like the pain of industrial grease remover seeping into the million tiny cuts in the palm of your hand from butterflying chicken all day, but they`re sore.

You see, I`ve wandered into the ultra-strange, devious and rather deceptive world of door to door sales. The ad in the classifieds read "B.E.S.T. Job EVER!!! GREAT HOURS! UP TO 55 DOLLARS AN HOUR!!"
With Fanshawe College being just down the road, and doubtless some of it's English alumni employed there, I realize now why B.E.S.T. is not an acronym, but instead a punctuated statement of exuberant excitement. I called them on Tuesday, and by Wednesday I was in the field.

The company works on a strange payscale I know for a fact I`m not allowed to disclose, but we work for a charity which contracts companies like this one and pays them to do more efficient donor recruitment than a TV commercial. I don`t know how it's possible that they pay so well unless the children are worth mad P.R. but we get dollaz.

I met a young man, my supervisor in the field, who is so much like my old roommate that I actually laugh when he says "Jeezy"and images of him getting stoned past recollection and eating glass haunt the next few doors.

One thing that I have learned from 30 hours of this job though...people are assholes. I think you can only imagine how much funnier this blog is going to become once I start doing regular routes and going to other cities.

Some highlighted stories from the last two days:

-I walked up to his door, and an old man was sitting on his front porch. I asked him how he was doing and what I heard was "Dying." I thought this rather macabre response not good for a sale, so I asked him why he thought he was dying (I mean, really..how do you respond to an answer like that?..try putting a positive spin on impending death). Naturally, through his thick Italian accent, what I was actually hearing was "Dieting". As soon as this embarrassing mix-up was dealt with, I sat down and showed him pictures of some kids and asked if he wanted to sponsor. He replied with a long winded, unintelligible story about his grandson going off to fight terrorism and I think throughout all of it, I only understood the first and last phrases which were: "My grandson goes ova dere and fights da terrorista..mumbo jumbo, laughter..mumbo blah blah blah...you askin me to support dese ni****s?"

At this point, I`m instructed to just leave, it`s a no, it's at this point a waste of time, but I hate people like this, so naturally, I stick around for personal reasons, rebutting his absolutely racist and demeaning statements with arguments such as: "Sir, this child is eight, and he is from Tanzania, there is a civil war going on there right now, he WILL be sold into combat slavery unless people put him into this program, thats WHY I`m going around here today."

I won`t go into the details as to how this ended, but it ended with me walking off of his porch, him (I`m not lying) yelling at some ladies passing by in durqa to "go home" and "get jobs".

(Ah yes, yet another intelligent quip from this old cocksucker: "Why canta dey work dere? You planta da seeds, dey grow in da ground..they too lazy to work [here life story commences] lazy ni****s.)

FUCK I HATE OLD PEOPLE.

Basically, my new job can rule if I`m good at it, and if I`m really good, I`ll just go around london and kick some major sales ass.

So, I`m out,

Peace and Love,

The Bizz.

Tales from the Punchbowl

2007-09-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

So, I`m in London.

I began today at 8 in the morning and went out looking for a job. I`ve managed to find some good prospects at banks and financial institutions who will not be named.

I then meandered around the mall, got to a music store and played some guitars. The rest of my day has been spent either learning Primus songs or watching shit like this.

I would like very much to know what "Weasel Dust" is, and if it was inserted by the humble writers of Miami Vice to honor the many references to Weasels the man uses in his songs.

Also because of YouTube, I`ve managed to find and download the Alanis Morissette cover of My Humps, which you can just look up yourself. It`s pretty good. Although after the first 2 minutes, you realize why Rap videos are the comatose retards of the music video world.

I don`t know, I just thought I`d post to ensure all of you that I am not dead, and that the move went fine. Liam, drop me a line, you owe me a visit in a couple of weekends.

Carl, if you ever stop working and log on to see this, so do you.

Jordan. (Driving Wave). Econ Shiv

Love it, indulge in it.

Blake.

We are human, after all.

2007-09-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

Well, if it isn`t my old friend...the blog..

How are you...blog?

Still updated I see...

So how do I start this?

If you`ve read Liam`s post you know that my foot temperature disorder has landed me back into my parent`s house and hoping desperately that it will get better. Unfortunately, my family doctor (whom I met on Wednesday, and is a pretty cool guy) does not have a remedy aside from riding it out and mustering the nuts to go trodding off to parts unknown.

I am sorry to Liam and Carl, and what I hope they understand, as friends, is that this is the best thing for me right now. I can`t do much about that. Until I know how I want to spend my time and money I need to be caught in a safety net and frankly, the maw of a boar is not how I feel safe.

So anyways, I`m moving to London, where a million hot girls and a plethora of eager employers await my arrival.

Liam has gifted me with why Daft Punk isn`t that creative, and I suppose that is a decent sendoff to a man who screwed him over. I don`t like watching this video..it actually REALLY bothers me, and I hope and pray on my bedside before sleep that it's a hoax.

Unfortunately the facts are there, and if they hold up past the millions of astute (ha!) Youtube viewers...it can`t be false. Unlike those who have posted comments below the video, I cannot brush it off with a mere "daft punk rulz!" or "sht up u bitch, this video is bullshit. i love daft punk n ull never ruin them 4 me!"

I still love Daft Punk, but the notches are lowering...

Anyways, I wanted to just update here and apologise publicly to Liam and those whom I have decided to leave behind.

Please note however, that I have offered to anyone who so wishes, a place to crash when we go out to the amazing bars in London and get smashy smashy.

It`s not a bad life. I haven`t abandoned you completely.

I`m gonna head`r. Carl is jonesing for some Chess and who am I to deny that?

Love the one you`re with, unless she`s a fucking bitch,

Blake.

From the Editor`s Desk: I`m back and more in tune with my inability to cope.

2007-08-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

Well, Here I am.

Ben, you`ve inspired me to at least delve into the pit of forgotten hope and prosperity that Lancier was and remember my password for this ol' blasted landscape.

Naturally, I have news.

For those of you caught unawares in the last 3 or so months, I`ve moved thrice, planned much, and prepared little. I`m moving out west, and Alberta looks promising.

Fort McMurray to be exact. With tensions building as to when jobs and travel arrangements will be specified, I naturally curl up into my ball of tensions and dive headlong into a precisely calculated ruse of good nature.

Things are as they should be. With my parents in London, I don`t talk to them often, but certainly when I can. Unfortunately, with things being how they are, and my hours being as good as they are (and I do consider a plethora of hours a good thing) I am unable to see them in the flesh less often than I am able to speak to them. The ratio is about 2:1 for talking.

I have attempted to research (through both the internet and first hand experience) what life will be like and how exactly I can manage to both fill my coffers and have a good time, and right now my promises vary with each session.

I`m scared kids. I don`t know what to do....yeah..piss on that. I`m not really scared at all. This hellhole of stratford provides so little for me now I`d rather be in Alaska than here. At least I`d be closer to Russia...things happen there.

I suppose this is the age old case of restlessness at home. Having no grounding here, I've been forced to move from friend to friend and impose, and I'm seeing nothing for it. That bothers me so much, I`m not sure what truly noble end this serves..perhaps none at all. The simple explanation would be simply to move home, go to school, get a job, life insurance and a decent automobile.

But is that the Blake we all know and love? Probably in about seven or eight years, yes. But not now!!

So, I rented a season of the Henry Rollins Show tonight and sat down for some good laughs and some provocative, politically biased discussion, sparing no veg-out expense. Chips, Pop and a small mound of pillows were also invitees.

Perhaps this little jeremiad has bored you, I expect no pity and take no prisoners. Given Henry Rollins' immense build and truculence, I fear for the use of my legs if I don`t get back to it.

I`ll talk atchall when that train comes in.

peace and love and shit,

Bizz.

Hey Ben,

2007-03-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

Hey Benner!

What`s going on?

I saw your post and figured now`s a good time to drop you a line and say "Hey!"

Get some work done, that`s all I`ll say.

Sincerely,

Blake.

He Blazes New Trails...but Lately Failed.

2007-02-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

Liam, where hast thou gone?

Perhaps it`s condemnation of the blogosphere, perhaps we have committed acts of pestilent dystrophy against his beloved 'sphere. Whatever the reason is, dear friends, it is certain, the great one is displeased with some aspect of our behavior.

When he returns, he will bear bludgeons with which he will quash our meager lives into the nothingness which he knows them to be.

So Fear O my brothers! He will send the demonic spirits into our heads, spawning only the most meaningless posts...

And upon his return he will bring balance to the evils and save only the chosen few whose behavior and deeds he views as reasonable.

It was only an eon ago he destroyed Babylon, and sent his demonic Erra to quell the noisy humans whose lives he valued less than his own nail clippings. He then sent the four horsemen upon the world of the Christians, and destroyed their civilizations in one fell swoop. His greatest avatars sunk Atlantis, and spread nine plagues upon the Pagan peoples of Egypt. His hand waved power over the Huns to dominate the world in the middle ages, and Napoleon`s armies hundreds of years later.

From his pantheon beside the mattress he raised the Himalayas, gave culture to the backwards peoples ignorant of his desires, and spread his word across continents and oceans, expanding his power until the day prophesied to bring end to civilizations and peoples.

The day of judgment encroaches upon us, friends!

So please fellows, I beg of you, read his posts, and follow his way, for his return shall be the reckoning for which we were all born to witness.

May his kingdom reign eternal!

Just post you bastard.

The Bizz.

On Valentine`s Day....

2007-02-14T09:49:00.001-08:00

I want to rock the way robots rock.

A buildup of fat on my abdominal wall.

2007-02-13T08:26:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

I can`t seem to type out a post in my WLU account that will stay...so I`ve decided to write a report of my GREAT FORTUNE here.

Well, I found a great wireless keyboard and mouse for about 18 dollars, and hooked them up (except the mouse, I hate the shape). So, I have this wireless keyboard, and as I`m sitting at my desk, on my uncomfortable chair, in the freezing cold world, I decide that I will challenge my elders and their teachings, and have my cake, and eat that warm, comfortable, padded cake too. I moved my bed right up to my computer desk, adjusted my resolution and font sizes to cater to my absolutely brutal eyesight, and I really haven`t left my bed since about 1030 last night. It`s been more than 12 hours.

Before my wonderful brainwave, I had been at the library, researching Keats's "Ode on a Grecian Urn" which is the topic of my essay for Poetry class. Whenever I`m at the library, I go out and find a book of poetry by this guy whose poetry I find at least 75% as witty as Charles Bukowski. In fact, in some cases, he has a little more to him. His name is John Ciardi, and he`s got a good style. The last book I pulled was called The Birds of Pompeii, and it had some really funny stuff in it. I particularly liked one called "Going to the Dogs".

But..alas, I had to return that.

I slept through my German class this morning, and sadly, I actually really wanted to go. I am regretful not for the scorn this will inevitably place on me by my prof, but for the fact that I missed my fucking German class.

Anthro is going about the same. My professor in that class is really not the greatest, so when I go, I am told (sometimes word for word, that was a funny day) what is in the textbook. I like learning about people, they`re fascinating, but one thing you`ll find about this person in particular, I`d prefer to read about them in my bed, and I can do that without going to class..not that that`s the greatest idea, but hell, she loves Joel and I, and frankly, whenever we go, she`s happy to see us.

Well, I`m going to sign off, I have to bounce and go to the last class worth it`s salt for the day: Poetry..

Blake (The Bizzle) Bilyea

Si-Osire

2007-02-09T05:47:00.000-08:00

So, I`m off in about ten minutes to write a Near Eastern Myth, Epic, and Poetry midterm that I know is going to be one of the worst hours of my life.

I need to leave this place soon.

Really really fucking soon.

Blake.

The Bizzle Operant: R.I.P.

2007-01-28T19:09:00.000-08:00

It was a good companion, friend, compatriot. Let those be the soothing words to those who knew and loved our cherished and most humble of companions, The Bizzle Operant, or the Operant, as it was so affectionately known. This blog's address bears it's name, and those who knew him loved him.

The Operant in it`s most modern and well known incarnation was born a mere 8 months ago and contained perhaps the best and most eclectic music collection known to man. It accepted this obviously horrifying burden with absolute humility and penitence. As it was exposed to perhaps it's most daunting challenge yet: DC++, it accepted the great volume of information coming it's way without batting a hesitant eye.

As that great volume weighed down, the Operant began to sway beneath the constant, often exhausting pressure. Long nights of innumerable downloads finally took the toll. Sadly, as it's internal "organs" began to fail, it constantly rebooted itself, often not giving itself a chance to enter Safe mode.

Near the end, in the most generous of sacrifices, it donated it's entire picture, movie, and music collection to a portable, 320 gigabyte hard drive so that it may "pass the torch" so to speak onto the next generation. We spent one sad, tiring, last day together, passing all of the information it had gained in it's eight months of life into this hard drive, which now resides heavily guarded by the Operant's orphan monitor. One day this information will be used by another computer of perhaps better specs, but never equal character.

The Operant in it's last week downloaded (as far as I can calculate) something around 70 gigs of music and movie files. In it's life it burned over 70 CD's (in those eight months). It was my only hope when online German tests towered over me, and when I wanted a camera, and I needed it to blog. I read thousands of emails, both of love and hate, and watched relationships expand and die over it. Though I might never know why the Operant died, it will be sorely, sorely missed. This incredible pace and effort will never be forgotten.

Good Bye Old Friend, and Fare Thee Well.

Amen.

While Lennon read a book of Marx, the quartet practiced in the park

2007-01-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

Christ,

It`s been a while, I know I know..ideally, I`m going to write about all my experiences over New Year`s, Christmas, the first two weeks of school and the terrifying debt I owe.

Well friends, this is not an ideal world, and if you are reading this, you were more than likely at the train wreck that New Year`s was for me. Shortly before that, of course, was the gradually deteriorating drunk fest that Liam`s Birthday was, and the eventual shit cleanup that ensued.

I arrived in my humble Dub-Dot abode about two hours ago to find my room literally trashed. My roomate or one of my floormates has scattered the contents of my closet and drawers about my bed, empty Kraft Dinner boxed litter the floor around the garbage can, and Alex`s bed had collided with the fridge and the walls, and is still in the middle of our room. As I walked in, he was passed out on his bed, in the middle of the room, dumbfounded when I asked what the hell happened. I still don't know because we`re leaving it as a topic never to be discussed again.

Oh, and my dad was behind me.

But, I did make this one a profitable weekend. I invested a total of 17 Canadian Dollars into Bukowski books and got three of them. Women, Factotum and Sifting..

Even if you don't read Bukowski, you have to give mad stupid dopeshit props to his vehement alcoholism, intense writing style, and aggrivating struggle with hiding his homosexuality...or something like that.

I think I`ll post more later, but I am ALIVE.

OOOOHHHHHH IM STILL ALIVE.

And listening to a good bulk of "Shut up and Play your Guitar", a gift from Terry McKenna for Christmas. Mad Dopeshit props. Christ I love Zappa.

Peace,

Bizz. Le

This room smells like Hotel Illness..

2006-12-18T14:25:00.000-08:00

Fine day.

I woke up at the merry hour of 2 in the afternoon today, sort of still drunk and completely unaware of my surroundings.

Basically, I don`t want to drink anymore.

Two days until I`m back, and that 48 hours will hopefully crawl by. I`m not actually looking forward to going home. I`m used to a ridiculously late bedtime, and an ugly afternoon wakeup, which will have to stop for the next 2 weeks whilst I adjust to the old rules for the new world order...aka, my parents` rules.

My room is a disaster. Alex and I have managed to sediment two weeks` worth of drinking, clothing changes and a myriad of other activites onto our floor. It feels like that scene from Fear and Loathing when HST wakes up to find his hotel room torn to shreds and a microphone taped to his face, aware that he did it, but unaware of the extent. For instance, I woke up this morning with at least eight pennies stuck to various places on my back and stomach. Many of which I was able to peel off, the others came off in the shower. Not to mention that when I got out of bed, I stepped over a guitar case, four empty boxes of KD and a rather expensive Drama textbook, which was laid open in a way that bent many pages.

I have two exams in the next two days, but both are feasible and make up the saving grace for my marks. I will study, but the warning level has been reduced from blood red to a cool blue (I think that`s the order, right?), and all terrorist exam activity has been quelled.

I`ll be home soon. Wednesday is the day.

All will be well in the world, just wait for me to get there.

Bizz.

My Blog IS called "Blazing New Trails to Never Fail"...I can`t actually fail.

2006-12-16T07:13:00.000-08:00

Much like Liam, I`m about to unleash a bombshell of a post, and much like Our Lady Peace I`m promoting the message that "Life is waiting for you" (A terrible song off of a terrible album, don`t bother.

He sort of stole my thunder, though. Because I too am dropping out. I came to the realization that I felt trapped and unmotivated in a place where I`m not supposed to feel that way some time ago, and in an excellent night, I brought it up, expecting the usual Liam sly scorn, only to find a brother in arms.

This is actually one of the most suitable pictures because we go to a neat little joint here in Waterloo called the KO; my favorite bar in the whole world second only to my absolute favorite (I`ll give you a hint, it`s amazing, and I work there) and play chess.

Well, we retreated into our drinks in silence, and I asked him if he wanted to travel with me. He replied with a "Possibly Maybe (sic)" and everything was cool. That`s what I love about Liam. Every once and a while, when you`re expecting some witty stab, he surprises you with an unexpected turn. Things seem to go much smoother when he`s around, and God himself couldn`t light a better path.

But either way, I`m leaving and I ain't comin back...until the september following my 21st birthday. Yes, I`m aware of how late that is in my life..but I seem to have wasted so much time already, and I am not sure I`ll ever do this after. Plus..I figure I need a break. My head can only tolerate so many dumb girls, inappropriate "Randumz" and a constant, almost intravenous supply of pizza and other unsuitable junk foods.

So, when you walk up to me so gracefully, and ask me where I`m going, I probably won`t tell you, but I will say: "Your mama`s bed." And then I`ll laugh.

Good Night and Good Luck, America.

Bizzle.

William, it was really nothing.

2006-12-10T22:08:00.000-08:00

It was your time.

Look, the back of the line is patting my ass to post, so I do.

Basically, nothing changes for me. I`m holed up here in my little rez room, reading plays, Cannery Row, any hateful Buk I get my hands on, and some William. The only reason I leave this room is for one of four reasons:

1) The most common: Cigarette break. They come more and more frequently as my exhaustive reading material becomes less a passion and more a chore. This is disheartening, and killing me.

2) To eat. This type, unlike my cigarette intake, is actually on the decline. I`m becoming an emaciated mess. When I do eat, it`s junk.

3) To take a crap. Yeah, we all do it.

4) To leave for home. Once there, I am either at home or at work. There is no fine line, perhaps the occasional stop at Alex`s, but hardly anything to credit a major turn.

Wow! Interesting, isn`t it?

I`m not bitching, by the way, I`m actually sort of enjoying being a hermit. Things here are cozy, and the routine is comfortable, if not gratifying.

What am I listening to? Waltz (Better than Fine) by Fiona Apple, and the entire "Favorites" Section of my WMP. Highlights include: What`s the Matter Man - Rollins Band, William, it was really nothing - The Smiths, The Girls Don`t like the Job - Kool Keith.

When I come home, I`ll need respite.

I can`t get no satisfaction.

Dra Dra, Dra Dra Dra!

The Bizz.

2006-11-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

Does Surface Area equal Heat?

It sounds like a dumb question, because the guy who told it to me ALWAYS talks out of his ass, but he is in the science program here.

I could imagine if it equalled ability to capture heat, that makes sense.

Otherwise, I would take great pleasure in knowing that this guy is a fucking idiot.

Blog Maintenance.

2006-11-12T15:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, I`ve eliminated Robot Rock. I`m sorry that you guys found this so tormenting that you sought out new software to o`erthrow it. That saddens me.

Ben, I bless thee with a link.

Ellen, I`ve eliminated your link for calling me a dumbass. I really think that you need to consider what you say before you say it.

Liam- I wrote the last post, couldn`t figure out the link thing on the first try and gave up. A little more time spent would have yielded some serious results..but alas..I don`t care.

Yeah..
Bizz.

What Kind of Power We Got? SOUL POWER!

2006-11-09T13:17:00.000-08:00

Die Frau und Die Mannen,

Well, I`ve seen the light. The last five hours have been spent watching the HBO special Band of Brothers. Tom Hanks had something to do with it, which automatically infers that it will be one hundred percent American POV, and at least reasonably gory. These conditions are all met, but that`s hardly the draw. The characters are well written, the SE rock balls, and every battle actually happened with (at least most) of the characters involved.

Now, it`s come to my attention that my death has been the subject of unverifiable claims. The post was touching, albeit full of subtle stabs and clandestine insults. These conjurations from the madman himself are not actually true. Though certainly at times during this week, I sort of wish they`d`ve buried me six feet beneath the earth..I may have gotten some sleep.

I`ve got a nice congeries of books to read, and the ideas expressed therein are apparently important to my success in post-secondary school. Anyone want to read, summarize, and write an essay proposal on Jane Austen`s Emma? It`s God Awful..you`ve been warned.

Now to the less bitchy part of my bloggeries, the nice part.

I can honestly say that after cruising Limewire, Ares, and DC++ today, I could think of no song except Bonzo goes to Bitburg by the Ramones that I want but don`t have. The wholly excessive music collection I`ve meticulously amassed is actually rather discerning. It`s overpowering nature has forced me to burn CD`s with titles such as: "I sold a Ferrari to expose these artists to the Mainsteam", "Crop Rotation for Cauliflower", and "The music that cycles over the speakers in the halls of the Ehrenkranz School of Social Work". Most of the music burned into these CD`s is completely new, with the addition of Velvet Underground at the end, because like sex, a CD is good with the addition of hard banging and loud, unrecognizable noises.

Well, that`s it fellows.

Pax Blakus.

The BiZz.

We walked around till the moon got full, like a plate.

2006-11-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

Though I`m sure there are few suggestions out there for an affliction such as mine, I think that once I get a camera of some sort, I`ll take a picture of the absolute filthy mess I live in, and send you a picture of Alex`s nearly immaculate side of the room. I need life reorganization, friends. I need some kind of absolute place for everything, and I`m not sure if I possess the lifestyle needed to reorganize it.

I`ve been thinking about this, and it doesn`t seem to matter where I live, but it always becomes a disorganized hole. My room now is covered in various kinds of problems. For a week and a half or so, my room was clean, and I made a vow of sorts to myself and to the sake of Alex to keep it tidy. Now, I have a myriad of books, clothes, foodstuffs, papers, telephones, cd cases, old guitar strings, you name it cluttered about my bed.

----------------------------------------------

I`ve had that portion of the post sitting in that box for two days now. It`s still relevant, but hardly the most of my worries.

I once again missed a tutuorial in Medieval History. I`ve made it to three that I can think of. At eight thirty in the morning, it`s not a good time to have a damn tutorial. My prof apparently takes the bus in from Guelph or something every day...to teach it..I`d kill myself.

The idea, however, is that I am marked on attendance, and while I attend every lecture (falling in at the beautiful waking hour of 1130 MWF) I can`t seem to summon the willpower to arouse from my slumber at 830.

I`m going back to bed.

Bizz.

Update:

2006-10-31T11:20:00.000-08:00

Read the post beneath this one, but a major turn of events has occured.

I have finally found Helena by the Misfits. If you doubt the sheer awesomeness of the song, the lyrics are posted below.

I`ve literally crawled Limewire, DC++ and Ares since I got here, unable to grab a real copy of the song until not thirty seconds ago.

Lyrics

I didn`t step on a crack, cause I was afraid I`d hurt my mother.

2006-10-30T21:42:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

I have no grand lecture regarding higher beings, points of view on religious preference, or the like. All I really have to offer is this:

If you`ll all recall, I`d been bitching on my last blog about an inability to sleep despite my always being tired. I once again have become a sufferer of this affliction. I pinned it down at one point to some strange neurological, circadian rhythm disorder, but I think it stems deeper; a subject I won`t bother to graze as it has absolutely no solid basis. The only thing I can tell you is that I woke up this morning and thought my eyes were caving into the back of my skull. The dull black beneath them seemed to outline the sockets completely.

Either way, this doesn`t seem to have bearing on my ability to function, except in that I lack the focus and clarity to sit down and read like I desperately need to to stay afloat here. Wuthering Heights, Emma, and Charlemagne's Courtier all call my name, and I reject them like a poorly recorded Paris Hilton single.

My weekend seemed to solidify the edging inclination that it`s time I seperate my name from the other three that live at the Bilyea household right now. A little beef between 3am and my father branded a rancid wart into the healing relationship between my father and I and the drive back was near-completely silent.

It could have had something to do with the fact that he spent the majority of the blizzard on Sunday pumping excess water from our backyard so that those who were touring it wouldn`t see it. Sadly, I think they saw, and he expressed his concern at this. They`re trying so desperately to (like me) evacuate that horrible city and it`s terrible influences forever. I just don`t know if I`ll be able to go with them.

Which brings me to my next point. I don`t think I was cut out to live in the city. In fact, whenever I go to Toronto, I freak, and as I ventured into Kitchener today, I reeled at the overwhelming buildings and population in such a small area. I think I`m just going to get a farmhouse. Maybe somewhere where it rains a lot.

To digress and eventually arc fully back to my point, there are certain CD`s that I`ve purchased in my life which have had such a deep impact on my psyche that they possess certain eccentricities in my listening catalogue. Pink Floyd`s The Wall cannot be listened to unless I`m willing to take the 80 minutes and listen to the full album. If it comes on randomly in my playlist, I will turn it off. Bright Eyes` Lifted or The Story is in the Soil, Keep your Ear to the Ground is only good on weekends when I can listen to it while cleaning or reading. I can`t listen to all of Kid A unless I`m writing, and if I`m in a bad mood, anything by the Black Crowes won`t even cross my mind. I purchased (while in Kitchener, see the arc?) Jeff Buckley`s Grace. This is going to be another huge album for me, and there`s no escaping it. Lover You Should`ve Come Over is one of the best songs I`ve ever heard, and there`s no escaping that. It`s going to be big, and I will probably draw a good amount of my titles from that for the next little while.

It`s 2:30 though, and I have good things to do right now..like fold my laundry and let Alex sleep...so...

I`m out, and watch WLU.com for The Bizz Rapport. I`ve got a new blog VERY soon there, and with the "state of the art" technology that I actually have to undergo training for, it should be good times..or weird times.

Well, with great respect and love `till the end, I say:

Good night and Good Luck `osphere. Long may you run.

Bizz.

One more drink and I`ll really wail some blues this morning.

2006-10-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

At the end of this post I`ve posted for you the greatest thing every recorded. If that was not enough..I also provided the video to accompany that!

Now, I recieved a call today ensuring that I will indeed be influencing the minds of Laurier`s future by employing my super blogging skillz. Naturally, I accept with humility..blah blah blah.. I`ll rock ass. I really hope they saw this and the other blogs, so as to prove that I can still be rude, out of line and a complete asshole, and still earn respect in this...what would you call it...intellectual community?

People should also come visit me, especially Ben...and Liam too. He seems lonely. Not that I`ve talked to him in a week. This seems to be a problem, this Liam calling Blake thing. Jordan pesters from the north to hit the KO (the greatest bar in Waterloo, if only for our patronage), so if Liam wants in on that, he should REALLY come out of the Kin hole he`s dug himself into and enjoy some brain cell destruction.

Also, I feel the need to celebrate. I`ve been getting nothing but great news all damn day. I found out that I might just be able to keep that little (Hon) after my BA which will of course succeed my name. This is mainly because I`m dropping the albatross around my neck called "Spanish". Seriously, how something like an eighth of North American people speak this fucking language I have NO IDEA. This has to be the craziest, most un-understandable language ever to r-r-r-oll off of the human tongue. Why is "I" said "yo"? Either way, it`s a good move on my part. I`ll post the case of Blake vs. The Language of Spanish later. It`s a long, ENGLISH spoken tale. Not to be translated. Not to be discussed in Spanish, not even to be read by my Spanish demographic, yo.

Well, without further ado, enjoy this shit!

Edit: My friends are lame and didn`t like the greatest riffage ever through their speakers every time they loaded this page...so I removed it to please the fans. This willn`t happen again.

A big fat German A.

2006-10-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

Lads, Ladies.

I`ve recieved some complaints as to my lack of links. In reply to this apparent shortcoming on my wonderful blog I say: Fuck you, you mildly intimidating bunch of teramisu-resembling bastards.

That was mostly to dean, he`ll get it.

Basically, the last four or five nights have been spent in Stratford. The great story of my Grandparent`s fiftieth wedding anniversary approaches nigh. Apparently a number of you nosy bastards have been spreading word about some type of sexual rendezvous with Andream Bedfordm. Apparently you`re fucking stupid...really fucking stupid.

Here goes:
I went home Thursday, and spent a wonderful evening out on the town. Nothing special, basically a nice night of coffee and cigarettes, but I was out late, and this was of course, a regrettable action in the mornin.
My aunt Alvina was down for the anniversary to surprise my mimi and grandpa, and was sleeping in my sister`s room. This of course means that my sister gets my room, and I get...ta da! The Basement.
I slept on the couch, which is becoming a more and more regular event as the weekends of my homecoming become more numerous. I think I`m just going to digg a sleeping pit in the basement and make it permanent.

Oh, and for those of you not aware, I`m moving to London..at least, theoretically. I`m not actually moving with my parents, but I will have a technical homebase in London.

But I digress.

I woke up on Friday morning to my irate mother wandering about the house causing fights and tension between my sister and herself. I tried to keep my cool, but was unsuccessful, and began to fight as well. I`d arranged with Andrea to have her come over the Friday morning. She agreed reluctantly to be my date so as to prove to my grandparents that I wasn`t gay.

Well, she got there around 11:30, and we got something to eat at Tim Hortens before hopping in the car with my crazy mom and driving to London.

Basically, a short list of drive-down highlights:
- My mom becomes enraged when Andream and I take our homework. I wish I knew why..
-On the drive to London, my mom, completely o`ertaken with the fact that she has two wedding cakes in the back of the car, decides to take the bumpiest, most decrepit road she can find. Again, I wish I knew why.
-Upon our arrival in London, my mom quizzes me as to the address. When I reply, she tells me I`m wrong and that I never help out.
- When we find the Delta Armouries, she takes a road to find parking, and ends up in an an oncoming lane. I tell her so and she tells me to stop driving.
- She turns around, only to end up at a street with no right turn. She turns around again attempts to turn into the same road.
- I tell her that we`re going to die if we stay in this lane and she tells me again to stop driving. Andream becomes a little scared.
- We make it, and I offer my assistance to help her with the cake. She says no. She tells me again that I never help.

Basically, after that, I found the bar and hit it up. It was a poorly made RnC with Captain Morgan`s Rum. Why does every bar use this? It`s worse, yet more expensive than Bacardi. Why?

The party afterwards included pictures, cake and live music. I played one song (or maybe more) with the dude who was playing. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

My young cousins began asking about Andream, and if she was my girlfriend. I replied yes, and started to hug her and be more affectionate to more "EW"`s and such. It was good.

Basically, I got reasonably sloshed on an open bar.

It was good.

I came home and worked 13 hours the next day and visited Carls. Good times had by all. Tired mornings had by me.

Nothing happened with Andream. I cannot stress this enough.

Good god.

Tell my momma, I love her so. Thank you for givin me these bones.

2006-10-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

Man, What a week.

I got back here early Sunday, and quickly realized that my studiousness has been slacking lately. I hit the books so hard they cried. I nailed a Film Exam today. 50 multiple choice, they died. Like ghosts. Only dead-er.

Either way, I`m tired still, and sleep seems to be coming reasonably easy. Mainly because of the fact that I`ve now seen (finally) 4 episodes of Neon Genesis with promise of more.

I want to go out drinking tomorrow, and if any of the Watercrew wants to come out with me, I think that it`s been too long.

So, I`m going to let Liam post about our weekend. All I can say is..that man ran. Quickly. I don`t know what he`s using my zippo for now, but god damn I hope it`s not drugs.

Bake ya Be Ill.-zzle

In Africa a thing is true at first light and a lie by noon and you have no more respect for it that for the lovely, perfect weed-fringed lake you see.

2006-10-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

-Hem.

Yeah, so things here are getting hectic. After long night after long night (either spent working my ass off or reading or drinking) I`ve finally adjusted to the intense lack of sleep that will be a common theme through the next four-five years.

Of course, also emerging within the last week is the possibility of realizing a lifelong dream of teaching in Thailand. My fellow Laurier elite and arch rival of Writer`s Craft fame *Breezym Mallen claims to have committed herself to similar endeavors, so perhaps I should swallow my pride and talk to her. Either way, the signup is next week for a seminar regarding spending your third year teaching abroad. The sound of that literally erectifies me.

My musical tastes have expanded in leaps in bounds since I started here. No longer will I rant about the lack of fecundity in Hip Hop. Tone Def, DJ Shadow, and Nas now excite me. This is what I spend most of my days and nights listening to thanks wholly to my dope roommate Alex.
I think there was a post earlier as well on another blog regarding my aggrivation at being placed in an all male residence. This is a completely inaccurate depiction of my feelings towards what I consider to be my real home. I love it here. Last night, I watched at least 10 members of my floor play a 6 hour game of some kind of advanced Risk wherein Elephants were used. Elephants! Do you realize the leaps and bounds that Risk and whatever company now owns the rights to it have taken? Like Anis Del Toros. Tastes like Licorice..."Yes, two big ones."

However, Vendo muchos hambre.

Ich komme de la maison avec le dinner.

Oh man.

Bizzle.

*Names Changed Drastically to prevent legal action. Oh, and protect privacy and whatnot.

Fu-Gee-La

2006-10-06T22:57:00.000-07:00

I wrote an exam today. The first of many (hopefully) for my university career.
I think I did ok. It was well-studied for, and two guys on my floor are in the class with me, and we all studied together. Good times, great essays.

This post is basically centered around one major event in my day. Perhaps you`ve heard me reference on the old blog(s) about the Raj. Well, first the boring details: after I got home from waterloo, accepted Darryl`s money for Swiss Chalet, and made fun of my sister for a while, I went to work.

Good night, I worked with Warden, and we peeled potatoes. Oh, and made food and stuff. You know..the business relies on that or something.

Then...as the rush was in full swing...the most inconvenient time for the Raj to make her grandiose gesture of futility....she called, and wished so badly to speak to Hank.

Hank talked, we all propped an ear, and Raquel* demanded that her return not be imminent, and in joking manners threatened to quit if she was indeed hired back.

Hank laughed and said nothing of her return. The Raj will be sorely dissapointed and scorned for her devious and scandalous (albeit entertaining) escapades at the Quail`s Inn*.

After my shift ended at around 1230, I went down to Molly`s to see the band. It turned out to be a really wicked guitar player whose name escapes me...

BUT, I had a RNC, and dropped that place like it was a bad habit.

Now I`m home and typing this out on the Mac. This computer is actually kind of neat when you check out the details. Though I know I`ll recieve a good scathing deal of scolding from Liam for saying this...I kind of like this thing.

The only bitch i`d offer up is that these keys are UNGODLY big.

Oh yeah, and listen to the Fugees` album "The Score". Lauryn Hill can`t be stopped here..ever.

Bizzzzzzzzzz (I`m sleeping, in case you didn`t get it)

*All names changed to the literal complete opposite of what they actually are so that no lawsuits, or other legal action can be brought up against me.
Thx..The Management.

Didn`t have to blast him, but I did anyway.

2006-10-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

I`m tired, to say the least.

I`m in fact so tired that I nearly fell asleep in History today. This is a poor idea seeing as how I have a midterm in that subject on Friday.

So I went home, laid down for a while, and slept for a good twenty minutes or so.

I awoke rejuvenated...Or something. I downloaded some Rage and "3 is a Magic Number" by Blind Melon. This kept me sedated for awhile. Mike (a guy from my floor) came to my room and informed me that he and Jake (his roomate) are watching "Rescue Me", a show featuring Dennis Leary as an alcoholic fireman. This show is really amazing. It`s hilarious, tear jerking..runs the whole gamut...blah blah blah blah...entertainment. I watched, I laughed.

I went out, grabbed a coffee, and read my stories for Reading Fiction, and listened to Matt Good for a while. I then discussed some purchases of the DVD burner variety with Wolfgang...while listening to "How I could just Kill a Man".

As I was walking back from my coffee though, another guy that lives next door told me I'd missed Gillette handing out free Fusion Razors to all the floors. I bolted down, used Jake's email for their little form, and grabbed up my new Gillette Fusion. If you don`t know what a Fusion razor is..it`s this:

...and it is my opinion that it really is not so hot. I cleaned up a little on my face, and mine didn`t even talk. Five blades of PAIN. It seemed to tear the hair out of my face five times harder, and five times more searing than the one blade disposable razors I have now. That is my opinion. Don't sue me.

But seriously.

If you guys ever get a chance to check out good music...check out "What's Golden" by Jurassic 5.
You`ll love it. I have only Fraser to thank for that.

I was also stumbling, and found that my name is an Anagram for Bake Ya Be Ill.

I thought that was pretty sweet. Add some punctuation, and you get something like: Bake, ya be ill.

This could be an advertisement for marijuana use...and here I am not in marketing..not that I would ever advertise for marijuana use. That`s grody.

Well, from the Bizz Track...I bid thee adieu.

Bizzle.

Welcome!

2006-10-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Isn`t this a wonderful world?

Birds chirping..sea turtles swimming, me attending this incredibly wonderful institution that wants me to blog for them.

Things are great, friends. And I can only say that it`s because Jesus wants you all for Sunbeams..

But seriously, folks.

Don`t post ANYTHING offensive on here until I get my interview next week. Nothing about me, no swears, something nice, I don`t really care. They`ll probably look me up, and it`d be great if they could find something great, because I think that I could write a blog that aptly describes my time at this school, and I would appreciate your help in getting that blog.

Thanks,

The Management.